Monday 17 March 2014

THE BOTHER WITH BOREDOM

would seriously like to acquire and review a series of gadgets based on technologies that could help with my blogs. Plus one that would only help a little.

Oddly enough it is boredom that is my biggest issue but not only boredom. Unfortunately everything in life is somewhat complex but it depends on just how complex it is. Of course time is the main factor on any given depth to complexities.

My issues stem back years but I did not know what was happening to me and so many things that simply suck about life came along fairly regularly and added to the issues. Of curse these were all public office, bodies and services that are supposed to be there to serve us and preserve a status quo of sorts. Instead they are now only self serving and brekky send out letters to us insisting that we continue to finance organisations that are self serving.

The really stupid reality to this constant lean towards a self serving attitude with a developing God complex actually prevented me from being self serving. They got away with this for an inordinate amount of time because everything was tied up so that they could.

What now seems like eons ago I tried to fight against this but I discovered there was no way to fight it. There might have been an option back then fur someone with a disability but not only was I unaware I had one but when I started to realise I was the NHS kept saying no. I then turned to other organisations and they kept telling me no too!

I started to winner hire it could be that I lived in the society of Great Britain and yet you could tell your country something that only you can really know for sure and they kept telling you no?! How can this be? Then it was a case of just ignoring any demands that cave through my door that were beyond my capabilities and therefore unfair. At times the idiots who are supposed to be been counters were crap at mathematics had there there adding up all backwards. Still the demands came when when it was mathematically impossible?! They would even spend money on legal action and courts when the maths did not even add up BEFORE they started?!

Not very good at being efficient with the cash they DO manage to screw out of people by spending large amounts of it for money that is not at the end of the rainbow. Even when you try to spell it out they totally ignore this and continue on squandering money! Madness!

So this to'ing and froing went on for a very, very long time. Yes there was a point when I realised that I was being lied to by many and deliberately mislead. This was because after awhile you realise that when the save question fails to get answered then there is more gong on behind the scenes. Infuriatingly and typically just as I was realising this and almost perfect timing I had a setback in the way of being physically attacked and then defrauded of thousands of pounds in cash. Cash that was going to fund a real Doctor, private, and a hired solicitor. Oops!

I cannot tell you of the top of my head how long that set me back but at a guess I would say around eighteen months AFTER the event to place?

Then you have to come to with a while new plan in a society that had quite deliberately as well as  systematically removed any and all human rights to you. This includes the possibility of help from both solicitors and police.

So after having an inordinate amount of time wasted I had to concoct another plan but unfortunately it was obvious that the only option left would take money I mostly did not have and a very long time too. Then my daughter was in difficulties and I had to help her but in so doing I found out even more of the corruption and that these people protect bit only themselves but also the corruption going on presently as well as the last twenty years too.

Once I was sure I was not needed any longer I could actually return to my original plans. Plans long overdue!

However what I was beginning to discover is that despite my growing confidence in this matter as I knew I possessed the necessary tools to complete the task however long I took, I had other issues.

I had thought that as my confidence grew and as I edged closer and closer to my ultimate goals that these issues would simply evaporate? Not so.

The issues I have is the one of boredom and quite simply I hate it. I know that mine is unique due to my condition but it does not help, quite unfortunately.

I do not like being indoors but my tiny home and difficult keeping the place from being cluttered make things a great deal worse. My house also gets very hot too and I am suddenly reminded I need to buy electric fans but the temperatures in the house have reached nigh on 50 degrees centigrade, the thermometer did state 54 but I am going to go with that being a false reading, lol. That was my bedroom! My house is small and faces south.

Even if I could occupy myself it gets to damn hot at times. I always hope fur a good sunny summer, of a constant 22 degrees, and a winter without too much rain or wind?! Lol! Last summer was not too bad for the most part but this winter was crap, very crap and prevented me from doing certain things.

So I am somewhat apprehensive about the summer. But today I had one of those days that really fires not help. After my post earlier today I left the house and felt that pain in my right groin, which I forgot I had felt earlier in the day, and felt tired no sooner had I got half way along my garden path! I ended up just retrieving some milk from Sainsbury's and returned home, knackered.

I did a few bits on the Internet VI's the laptop but after awhile switched it off and retired to the bedroom and spent a few hours watching my new Neon Tetras in my aquarium and fed them with the males fighting while trying to fight off the urge to fall asleep!

I bet I do not bloody well get to sleep now?! Lol!

I also hope my energy levels return in the morning and I bloody hate feeling like this! Grr!

This is an example of one of the things I may forget about and whereby this blog comes in handy to jot things down in case I forget. God knows how many things like this I have forgotten to post on here but I beer it would number over 100 and quite possibly several hundred?! Would have been good to have the frequencies down of any and each of the issues/symptoms I experience of Fibromyalgia? I have quite deliberately left off the less significant and boring ones but rest assured that in combination these too can be a pain in the arse!

So yes the boredom is tough. So it is not nice when someone asks you something and you start to think that you can put an end to many of the horrors you have to deal with! Yes I an referring to that question that I am so scared of placing another bock on myself I do not want to mention it....YET!!! Of course as has always been the case the number of naught, which mysteriously includes a few numbers into the hundreds, will always force it to be posted and fur me to rant off about why it was so obviously wrong?! Lol!

I have had a couple of things through the post I have not got around to posting in with scans and on top of that I have yet to publish a fair few photos and videos too!

Sometimes I feel I need something from the Doctor to get me going some days as well as the Sodium oxybate to desk with the sleep issue. Also I read that use of Sodium oxybate was refused in America for use on Fibromyalgia sufferers, which just is not cricket!

Bah-humbug!

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